Saturday, November 28, 2009
I have a confession. I have failed horribly at my attempt to participate in Nanowrimo and write an complete novel this month. I would like to blame it all of the fact that is has been a trying month: the death a family member, being busy and stressed at work, and dreading the holidays. But, it can't all be blamed on my circumstances. Some of it was just me. For some reason, I'm afraid to really try. In mind my mind, I know this isn't logical. Afterall, I could write a whole novel, never tell anyone about it, and never have to worry that I'm not good enough. But, deep inside, there's a fear that I haven't been able to beat. The fear of being a failure. I already feel like a failure in so many ways. What if I can't succeed at the one thing I think is really God's calling on my life? It's scary. Perhaps, I'll try again in December, perhaps not.