Walking through my husband's alcoholism as a newlywed...
No one likes the unpredictability of life and the storms it brings our way. Steady in the Storm documents Shonah's personal journey as she navigates through the storm of her husband's addictions as a newlywed. Coming from a background of homeschooling and Sunday school, Shonah is ill prepared to handle the uncontrollable situation.
Reaching deep into her relationship with Christ, Shonah walks you through the gift of grace, the grit of gratitude and the lavishness of the goodness of God that got her through the storm. Told in humour, with a deep vulnerability and a realness that will have you experiencing the story right alongside her, Steady in the Storm is a captivating and emotional telling that will have you page turning late into the night.
Purchase at: Amazon
Excerpt (Chapter 1):Accepting I was out of control was just about as difficult as accepting my husband was an alcoholic. How could I be out of control? I’ve been so responsible my whole life. Working through my parents divorce, I helped my mom with responsibilities when we were on our own. I moved to another city when I was 21 and helped all my friends be responsible. I was told my whole life I seemed older than I actually was, I was mature and trustworthy. How could I be out of control? I was most definitely out of control of the circumstances at hand and that left me reeling, feeling like I was trying to climb a rope with oil on my hands.
When large storms hit our lives they are always out of our control. We cannot fix someone’s illness, we cannot turn the economy around, we cannot single handedly bring a broken church back together, we cannot turn the clock back and stop that horrific accident from happening. We are helpless. Learning one's level of helplessness has got to be one of the scariest realizations out there and we usually learn this through a traumatic event. We suddenly understand how fragile we are and how susceptible to hurt we are. Our brokenness moves from the hidden away broom closet we shoved it into and takes a front row seat in our lives, controlling our emotions and outbursts. We feel like school children again, wishing the adult would turn up and help us navigate the situation, only to realize we are now the adult. This is where surrender comes in. We must surrender to the acknowledgement of our weaknesses. We must surrender our thoughts and expectations, our ability to help and fix, and acknowledge our weaknesses. Only at this point of surrender can we acknowledge that God is our strength. We must step down from the place of control and shift the authority in our lives.
“In your weakness, I am made strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 used to be one of my least favourite verses. There is a loss of control and a shift of power and authority in this verse. We have to come to terms with our limitations and realize where our capabilities end. This is a humbling journey and one that was fast tracked for me. This verse is also the most beautiful depiction of the unity we receive in Christ. Jesus joins together with our weakness to bring His strength to our lives and reality. He breathes into us what we do not have and are incapable of producing in order to weather the storm. He is the strength we are looking for. He is the hope, grace, guidance and peace we need. When our limitations end He begins. I came to the point where every day I would wake up with anxiety and the first thing I would do was pray to God to help me with the day. Be my strength, be my voice and answers and my personality at my job today because I have nothing. I am at this moment incapable of getting out of bed. God be my legs to carry me today. I don’t have the strength to stand on my own. At the end of every day I would fall into bed and wonder how I did it. How on earth did I manage to work a full day today and with a smile on my face? I even laughed with patients. How did that happen? The next morning; God I can’t do this. It’s too hard. Please help me. I would fight tears as I drove to work and some mornings I would cry the whole way in. God help me, and I would start into my list of all the ways I needed His help that day. My list was as pathetic as “God, please help me not to cry at work today” and it was as powerful as, “God, help me have the grace to bring my drunk husband home tonight. Help me withhold judgement.” Every time, God met me. Every time I drove to the bar I still cried and felt as helpless as ever, but every time God met me.
About the Author:
This sure sounds intense, but good!
ReplyDelete