About
Child
Proof: Parenting by Faith, Not Formula by
Julie Lowe:
As
a freedom-over-formula parenting book for parents of all ages, Child
Proof provides biblical insight and encouragement for readers who
want to parent by faith. As an experienced counselor of children and
families and an adoptive and foster mom applying the CCEF model of
biblical change, Julie Lowe uses Scripture and biblical wisdom to
teach parents how to know their children and specifically love them
with the love of Christ.
Every
family is unique, which is why Child
Proof explores
the need for parents to cultivate personal and intimate care for
their children as modeled in God’s individual, personal, and
fatherly care to his children. This parenting book lays a foundation
of parenting by faith and progresses by teaching parents how they can
know their own children well and parent accordingly. By discussing
particular issues parents might have in family life, Lowe
demonstrates how parenting formulas aren’t the answer, and
parenting with biblical wisdom is best for a proactive rather than
reactive approach to parenting.
Through
Lowe’s personal and professional experience, parents as well as
those helping parents—pastors, counselors and counseling students,
youth workers, and churches—will discover gospel-centered
application rather than formulas for the ideal family, equipping
parents to be experts at knowing their own children so they can know
Scripture and live it out personally in their homes.
This
is the book I've been waiting for. I've always desired to mother my
children the way that God parents His children. There's no shortage
of parenting advice from Christian leaders and sometimes it's
conflicting. At times, I've seen Christian leaders make their way
seem like it's the only God-approved way.
So,
in my pilgrimage to mother my children as God parents His children,
I've made slow progress over the years. Reading this book was like
having someone fling open heavy doors and let brilliant sunshine in.
The first chapter deals extensively with parenting formulas and what
we perceive as “normal.” I'm so grateful the author asserts:
“Biblical principles remain universal and unchanging, [but] the way
they are applied in specific ways is unique to each family's
personalities, gifts, difficulties, and circumstances.” (Page 10)
In
my opinion, that statement is the backbone of this book. It may seem
simple, but it's not. Thankfully, Child
Proof
offers an opportunity to learn to parent a child as is best
for the child. However, that can be hard when outright or perceived
criticism attacks a parent. Therefore, it is essential that a parent
be convinced about his or her methods. The means of accomplishing
this, per the book, is prayer. When we pray and study God's truth,
the Holy Spirit can give us specific wisdom for our individual
children.
Once
this premise is established, the rest of part one deals with topics
such as Christ-centered parenting, becoming an expert on your child,
discipline, and more. Part two delves into common parenting issues
including: parenting a difficult (strong-willed) child, parenting a
child with disabilites, when your child isn't thankful, technology
and your child, and several other issues. To reiterate, the author
discusses principles in Scripture and gives examples, but reminds the
reader that these principles will look different in every family.
The
chapters I found most helpful:
Chapter
5: When Rules Are Broken. – Kudos to the author for NOT telling me
that I need to spank my child in order to apply discipline. This
chapter is more about making sure the parent has the right mindset
(we are all wandering sheep), assessing rules (instead of doling them
out based on culture or advice from others), and cultivating strong
character in a child.
Chapter
7: Parenting a Difficult Child. – The author takes on the concept
that if you raise a child a certain way, he or she will turn out
“right.” And the often unspoken assumption: if your child doesn't
or isn't turning out “right,” then you must be doing something
wrong. This section was immensely helpful and liberating because what
worked great with my first child, didn't work so great on my second.
I love my second child's determined spirit, but sometimes it can be
challenging.
So,
while Child
Proof
does indeed offer freedom from parenting formulas, beware: it's not a
book telling you to relax and stay positive. It calls the parent to a
deep, self-sacrifical love – the kind of love that Christ has for
us. And sometimes, that's not easy. For me, it means tamping down
my natural irritation so I can respond in love instead of anger. For
others, it might mean passing up a good opportunity for yourself so
you can do what is best for your child.
This
book was intense. Seriously, I'll need to read this a few times to
truly absorb it. I found that if I stopped reading in the middle of a
chapter and did not return to it until the next day, I needed to
start again at the beginning of the chapter. Otherwise, there was a
disconnect and I didn't glean the message as well.
Child
Proof: Parenting by Faith, Not Formula by
Julie Lowe is a keeper for my bookshelf. As I've explained, I found
it immensely helpful and I expect to read it again in the future. I
do think the book could have benefited by addressing situations in
which parents might not agree. My husband and I are both believers
and want to parent our children well, but we still have some
completely different ideas about how to parent. I imagine that
blended families or single parents might also wish there was a
section devoted to such situations.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received this complimentary book from the publisher. I was not
required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed
are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade
Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of
Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
