Book Review: Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire by Jen Hatmaker

About the Book: 

New York Times bestselling author Jen Hatmaker, with cheeky candor and fearlessness, guides readers to a deep dive into how they are wired and provides them with the tools to walk in that identity with freedom and guts.

Stuck in people-pleasing or fear, many women hide and pretend, then end up sidelined in their own lives. But what they want is to be brave, to claim every gift, dream, quirk, and emotion inside, to stop performing and start living.

Beloved New York Times bestselling author Jen Hatmaker understands the struggle to find firm footing in a culture that operates from stereotypes and often unreachable expectations. In this new book, she offers women encouragement, challenge, and humor as she helps them identify everything that makes them tick and gain the confidence to live it all out. She leads them through five self-reflective categories—who I am, what I need, what I want, what I believe, and how I connect—and helps them:

• identify the exact ways they pretend, and learn instead how to be genuine at all times, in all ways, in all contexts;
• be empowered to say yes and no without guilt;
• learn to voice both their spiritual questions and convictions; and
• opt out of drama and into healthy adult relationships.

With wry humor, earnest passion, and been-there insight, Jen calls women to the life-giving freedom of leaning into the identity, convictions, and community they’ve been given.

Purchase Links

Amazon |Books-A-Million | Barnes and Noble | Thomas Nelson

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My Thoughts:

Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire mixes Jen Hatmaker’s personal story, spiritual thoughts, and self-improvement principles to empower women to live in freedom. Reading this book made me feel like the author was a friend I’d known for years. She’s funny, honest, and challenging. I didn’t agree with everything she said and I found the mild cussing to be mostly superfluous, but I did benefit from reading this book and I intend to reread it annually.

Truth lies at the core of everything in Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire. From this concept, comes the freedom and empowerment that Jen Hatmaker invites readers to push for. Whether the chapter addressed who I am, what I need, what I want, what I believe, or how I connect, some part of each anchored in the concept of truth, be it telling the truth, accepting the truth, or searching for the truth.

As I read Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire, I found that some chapters refreshed and affirmed my heart, some challenged previous thoughts, and some didn’t really apply to me. I Want This Dream and I Believe in Spiritual Curiosity ranked as my favorite chapters. I Want to Connect Without Drama was the most challenging as my dysfunctional family creates abundant drama. I recommend Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire by Jen Hatmaker.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the author or publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

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About the Author:

Jen Hatmaker is the author of the New York Times bestseller Of Mess and Moxie (plus twelve other books) and the host of the For the Love! with Jen Hatmaker podcast. She and her husband, Brandon, founded the Legacy Collective and also starred in the popular series My Big Family Renovation on HGTV. Jen is a mom to five, a sought-after speaker, and a delighted resident of Austin, Texas, where she and her family are helping keep Austin weird.

Connect with Jen:

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Book Review: Don't Overthink It by Anne Bogel

About the Book:

We've all been there--stuck in a cycle of what-ifs, plagued by indecision, paralyzed by the fear of getting it wrong. Nobody wants to live like this, but overthinking doesn't feel like something we can choose to stop doing. It feels like something we're wired to do, something we just can't escape. But is it?

Anne Bogel's answer is no. You can overcome negative thought patterns that are repetitive, unhealthy, and unhelpful and replace them with positive ones that will bring more peace, joy, and love into your life. In Don't Overthink It, you'll find actionable strategies that can make an immediate and lasting difference in how you deal with questions both small--Should I buy these flowers?--and large--What am I doing with my life? More than a book about good decision-making, Don't Overthink It offers you a framework for making choices you'll be comfortable with, allowing you to use an appropriate amount of energy and freeing you to focus on all the other stuff that matters in life.

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My Thoughts:

Don’t Overthink It by Anne Bogel is the type of self-help book to read once (or more) every year. Though the book focuses on how to deal with overthinking, much of the advice applies to overall mental health. Chapter 5 (Take Time to Make Time) and chapter 11 (Rituals to Rely On) resonated strongly with me, but practical suggestions fill the pages of every chapter. There is an emphasis on preserving mental processing/decision-making power by streamlining or outsourcing activities as needed. Almost exclusively, the book focuses on smaller decisions, not big life changes. I found that the advice and practices by the author could be implemented right away.

I recommend Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life by Anne Bogel to anyone, though the book seems targeted to women. Whether overthinking rates as minor hinderance or a major issue, this book offers suggestions to empower one to make healthy choices.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the author or publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: The Basic Bible Atlas by John A. Beck

About the Book:

The Bible tells the story of God meeting real people in a real time and place, yet we rarely wonder, Why there? 

Maybe we have a hard time even picturing where there is. To begin to fully understand the Bible, we must understand the geographical settings of Scripture and how each place participates in the biblical story. With its colorful maps and illustrations, The Basic Bible Atlas helps us do just that, so we can appreciate how place impacted events in the Bible. From Eden to Egypt, from the promised land to Persia, from Bethlehem to the new Jerusalem, The Basic Bible Atlas is your ticket to explore the land of the Bible as never before.

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My Thoughts:

I enjoyed reading The Basic Bible Atlas by John A. Beck. I’ve read the Bible through many times, but I never considered its geography beyond knowing general whereabouts of events. As expected, The Basic Bible Atlas provided many maps with illustrations and explanations. However, the spiritual insights from studying the land stood out most to me. At one point, the author discussed Abraham’s story and the “strain between the land promise and the reality of everyday life.” (Pg. 50) I see the parallels in my own present-day realities and the future promises of God.

Chapter nine, Jesus Stories, rated as my favorite section of the book. It included insights into the land, people, and socioeconomic status of Galilee that gave me a new perspective on the Beatitudes. I recommend The Basic Bible Atlas: A Fascinating Guide to the Land of the Bible by John A. Beck to any Christian with an interest in Biblical history. Even those who have studied the Bible for years may find new insights by studying it from a geographical standpoint.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: Worthy by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher

About the Book:

What does the Bible say about the value of women?  Does the Bible teach that women are as valuable as men or does it portray them as somehow more flawed, more suspect, or weak and easily deceived?

Beginning from Genesis and working all the way through the storyline of the Bible, Worthy demonstrates the significant and yes, even surprising, ways that God has used women to accomplish His kingdom goals. Because, like men, they are created in His image, their lives reflect and declare His worth. Worthy will enable and encourage both men and women to embrace this true and lofty vision of God's creation, plan, and their value in His eyes.

Bestselling author Elyse Fitzpatrick and pastor Eric Schumacher together invite women to embrace a transformative and empowering view of their Maker, themselves, and the church. But this isn't only a book for women. It is also a book for men, especially leaders, who want to grow in their understanding of God's perspective on women, people who normally make up the majority of their congregations; men who might be wondering if they've missed something amid the abuse scandals that are rocking the church. Might the headlines they're reading today about abuse have their roots in a denigration of the value and worth of women? Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women will help every reader see the value, place, and calling of women through study questions and a "Digging Deeper" section that will help men and women discover how to cherish, value, and honor one another for God's glory.

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My Thoughts:

In Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women authors Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher step boldly into the fray to defend women against stereotypes, assumptions, misogyny, and abuses in today’s Christian culture. I did not agree with everything in this book, but I thoroughly appreciate their work.

As someone who has been deeply wounded by some of the evangelical church’s teachings to and about women, I’m questioning many beliefs I once held tightly. Worthy gave me hope as it breathed a new, healthier perspective into the old, damaging teachings I’ve been taught since childhood. It clearly demonstrates that Biblical interpretation can easily be skewed by one’s worldview, social environment, or church culture. Worthy frequently demonstrated that simply shifting how a passage is perceived can completely change its effect and message. I do think at times they presented ideal situations and skipped over challenging passages. Still, the bottom-line message of the book is that God values women as much as He values men. No more, no less. And I can definitely get on board with that message.

I think Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Eric Schumacher is a step in the right direction and I wish all pastors, especially those on the more conservative side would read it. Given all the SBC endorsements, I wasn’t terribly surprised to read that they consider themselves complementarians and deny that women can hold the office of pastor. However, I appreciated their call for respectful interaction with others of different opinions. They acknowledge that Christians can love God deeply, serve him with devotion, yet still hold different convictions.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: The Coming Revolution in Church Economics

About the Book:

Our entire understanding of funding and sustainability must change.

Tithes and offerings alone are no longer enough to provide for the needs of the local church, enable pastors to pursue opportunities, or sustain long-term ministry impact. Growing financial burdens on the middle class, marginal increases in contributions to religious organizations, shifting generational attitudes toward giving, and changing demographics are having a negative impact on church budgets. Given that someday local churches may be required to pay taxes on the property they own and/or lose the benefit of soliciting tax-deductible gifts, the time to pivot is now. What's needed is disruptive innovation in church economics.

For churches to not only survive but thrive in the future, leaders must learn to leverage assets, bless the community, empower entrepreneurs, and create multiple streams of income to effectively fund mission. You'll learn why you should and how to do so in The Coming Revolution in Church Economics.


My Thoughts:

I suspect the target audience for The Coming Revolution in Church Economics by Mark DeYmas and Harry Li consists of pastors, elders, and those in financial leadership of a church. I am none of those. While someone with a more vested interest in the topic might find the book more engaging, I understood what the authors were saying. I thought the authors did an excellent job of explaining their positions on the statements they made. They addressed common assumptions/arguments made against what they propose. Overall, it’s a thought-provoking read about church economics.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: Stories Behind the Songs & Hymns About Heaven

About the Book:

Behind every song is a story . . .

In times of doubt, fear, and loss, we turn to the songs and hymns that remind us that this world is not all there is--that what awaits us as followers of Jesus is a heavenly kingdom. Songs like "Face to Face," "Amazing Grace," "Victory in Jesus," and "I'll Fly Away" were written amid circumstances of great personal pain in the lives of the songwriters. In sharing their stories, we can find even more comfort in our own circumstances.

Award-winning author Ace Collins offers this collection of thirty inspiring true stories that provide hope for this world and insight into the next, painting a picture of eternal life filled with joy, peace, and happy reunions. Perfect for music lovers, pastors, hospice workers, counselors, and all of us who have lost someone we loved.


My Thoughts:

Reading Stories Behind the Songs & Hymns About Heaven by Ace Collins took me longer than expected. Learning the stories behind the songs was highly interesting, but sometimes very sad. Many of the songs were born out of slavery, death of a loved one, or the Great Depression. It speaks to the how well-written the entries were that the narrative could draw me in and evoke emotion in such a short form.

Though I grew up in a church that sang many old gospel hymns, I was familiar with only about half the songs in this book and hadn’t heard of most of the song writers/singers featured. Fortunately, the author supplied sufficient information as well as sources for further reading. I appreciated that the lyrics were included when possible. Two of my favorite entries were: When We All Get to Heaven and Victory in Jesus. Other popular songs included in the book are: Amazing Grace, I’ll Fly Away, I Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now.

Stories Behind the Songs & Hymns About Heaven by Ace Collins is a beautifully designed hardcover book. I recommend it to anyone who enjoys music history and/or gospel music.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: Strong, Brave, Loved by Holley Gerth

About the Book:

Encouragement to live as a woman of confidence and victory.

You want to be a woman who looks life in the face and says, "You can't beat me." A woman who knows love is a risk and reaches out anyway. A woman who understands kindness takes real courage. Who doesn't fake it or try to hide her scars. Who fights to believe she is who God says she is and helps others do the same.

In Strong, Brave, Loved, bestselling author Holley Gerth offers you sixty short devotions to empower you to be that kind of woman. It's simple, personal, and practical, with room for you to journal your own responses and reflections as you learn to live in freedom, hope, and holy courage.


My Thoughts:

Strong, Brave, Loved: Empowering Reminders of Who You Really Are by Holley Gerth rates as one of the best devotionals I’ve read this year. There are sixty short devotional thoughts and each is supported by a prayer, a reflection prompt with space to respond, and a quote from Fiercehearted, Holley Gerth’s previous book. As I understand it, Stong, Brave, Loved expands off of Fiercehearted, but it is not necessary to read Fiercehearted before Strong, Brave, Loved.  

I hesitated to crack open Strong, Brave, Loved by Holley Gerth for two reasons. First, I’ve got some difficult situations in my life and I feared it might be heart-rending. Second, some Christian devotionals for women promote mentally unhealthy mindsets. Fortunately, I had a really good experience with Strong, Brave, Loved. For sure, there were pages that brought tears, but each devotional topic was full of personal honesty from the author, truth to grasp, and thoughts to empower. I underlined frequently and sometimes my response to the prompt overflowed the provided lines.

I liked that each devotional had statements taken from the text and printed in red ink that can be used as affirmations to remember or to speak over yourself if you desire to. A few examples: “I am God’s daughter. I am beloved. I have everything I need for whatever I may face. (Pg. 63)” “Joy comes when we accept who we are, when we’re true to who God made us. (Pg. 74)” “The love of God for us and the grace of God toward us will never, ever change. (Pg. 92)”

I recommend Strong, Brave, Loved: Empowering Reminders of Who You Really Are by Holley Gerth to any Christian woman. It’s the second book I’ve read by Holley Gerth and I want to go back and read them all!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: Confident Moms, Confident Daughters by Maria Furlough

About the Book:

What we say to our daughters lasts a moment. What we show our daughters lasts a lifetime.

No matter how much we try to tell our daughters that they are beautiful and lovable as they are, words are not enough. And if we're honest, we don't always set the best example. How can we build up confident girls if we struggle to be confident ourselves?

With deep compassion, Maria Furlough delves into the root causes of our insecurity, offers biblical guidance for seeing ourselves as God sees us, and shows how to model our newfound confidence to our impressionable daughters. Speaking as a daughter, a youth leader, and a mother, Furlough shares her own struggles and triumphs, as well as expert advice from a pediatrician, a nutritionist, a Christian counselor, and more.


My Thoughts:

In Confident Moms, Confident Daughters, author Maria Furlough aims to encourage and equip moms who desire to help their daughters live free from insecurity in an image-obsessed culture.

The author balanced well the ideas of “true beauty” and physical beauty. She emphasized “true beauty” as most important, but validated the feminine desire for physical beauty. She gave practical tips to help a mom feel confident about her physical characteristics. She encourages a woman to focus on what she loves about her body and play to those strengths by purchasing clothes that fit well or trying a new makeup style. In short, use and enjoy what works for you. She is not saying to dress provocatively. Rather, she’s encouraging women to be clothed with “strength and dignity” (a phrase by her daughter on page 138) and that includes dressing in clothes that make one feel strong and confident. Being confident yourself is a crucial step to helping your daughter be confident in her body.

My main takeaways from Confident Moms, Confident Daughters were: 1.) Don’t speak negatively about your body or your daughter’s body. 2.) Don’t vent or dump your issues on your daughter. Talk to the husband, friends, or family, but don’t make your daughter carry your burdens or issues. 3.) Reflective listening. 4.) Honest communication and connection creates an inroad for you to be able to speak truth to your daughter about this crucial issue.

I recommend Confident Moms, Confident Daughters by Maria Furlough to any mom. I will keep this book and reread it in the future. The discussion questions to talk with your daughter about are more appropriate for tween and teen girls. My daughters are much younger and I don’t think they would completely understand or process the questions deeply. Still, the information in the book is valuable as I can start applying the recommended practices when they are young.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review: Protecting Your Child From Predators

About the Book:

Keeping a Child Safe Requires More Awareness Than Ever.

Even aware parents often underestimate the dangers their children face. Research indicates that 1 in 4 females and 1 in 6 males are sexually abused before age 18. In most cases, the enemy is not a faceless stranger, it's someone you know and trust--a neighbor, a coach, or even a family member. 

This book provides practical steps to ensure you're doing all you can to reduce the risks of abuse. But since you cannot be with your children 24/7, the authors teach you how to help your child develop awareness and strategies in the face of potential dangers--without making them fearful. 

Dr. Robinson, whose decades-long practice focuses on abused and endangered children, calls on her own case studies to show age-appropriate conversation starters for parents, teaching them how to ask the right questions and provide the right boundaries.

This book will help you move from fear to confidence on this critical topic that is just too important to ignore.

Learn more abour the book and read an excerpt from Protecting your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger on the publisher's website.

My Thoughts:

I recommend Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger by Beth Robinson, EdD, and Latayne C. Scott, PhD, to any caregiver.

Protecting Your Child from Predators was a surprisingly quick read. The authors presented information in a clear and concise manner.  Heartbreaking stories are included for a purpose, not superfluously, but may be triggers for readers who have experienced sexual abuse.

The chapters in Protecting Your Child from Predators do not need to be read in order. However, I do recommend reading it through once as the parts about younger children lay a foundation for the chapters about older children. Because the book is meant for the reader to be able to jump into whatever chapter/topic is needed, certain information is repeated at the end of each chapter.

Although I have already taught my children most of what it recommends for their ages, the book did provide information I wasn’t aware of in the chapters on technology and regarding the common ways a child may be sexually abused by another child.

Protecting Your Child from Predators unabashedly affirms that Jesus hates abuse, especially child abuse, and that you can and should say no to evil instead being overtaken by it. I appreciated the strong stance of the authors. This healthy mindset should be a given for any Christian, but as recent headlines have revealed, sexual abuse not only occurs within churches, but the church sometimes mishandles its response. I appreciated that the book addresses situations involving the church.

This book is written for parents and caregivers who are adept at setting boundaries, being able to stand up and confront someone in the moment. Due to my past history, I really struggle to set boundaries, especially in a situation that is unexpected.  I found myself sometimes wanting more examples on “how” exactly to set those boundaries. So, if you’re like me and struggle with setting boundaries in general, this book will encourage you toward that, but you may need another resource specifically on the topic of boundaries.

I give Protecting Your Child from Predators: How to Recognize and Respond to Sexual Danger by Beth Robinson, EdD, and Latayne C. Scott, PhD, 4.5 stars and I recommend it to every caregiver.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

Book Review & Giveaway: Shame Off You by Denise Pass

ABOUT THE BOOK:

Title: Shame Off You

Author: Denise Pass  

Publisher: Abingdon Press

Shame is an assault on the core of who we are. It assassinates our character, minimizes our worth, and dashes our hope. Like Adam and Eve, we often hide shame, but hiding never heals it. Left unattended, shame can develop into a crippling reality that paralyzes us. Like an infectious disease, shame impacts everyone . . . but not all shame is bad.

Shame can either be an oppressive and powerful tool of worldly condemnation or a source of conviction that God uses to bring his people back to himself. Having the discernment to know the difference and recognize shame in its many forms can change the course of one’s life.

In a transparently honest style, Pass shares of her experience dealing with shame after learning that her former husband was a sexual offender. Having lived through the aftermath, she leads you into God’s Word where you will see for yourself that God is bigger than your pain, shame, mistakes, and limitations.

Shame Off You shares how freedom can be found in choosing to break the cycle of shame by learning from the past, developing healthy thinking patterns, silencing lies, and overcoming the traps of vanity and other people's opinions.

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MY THOUGHTS: 

In Shame Off You, author Denise Pass seeks to empower readers to live a shame-free life. Since reading Shame Off You, I’ve had moments in which I catch myself entertaining certain thoughts (usually something said by someone else) and realize that I don’t have to indulge the shame.  Shame off me. I repeat it out loud and give myself permission to let it go. Shame Off You has helped me become more conscious of the shame and negativity floating in my mind.

In Shame Off You, Denise Pass shares glimpses of her personal story as she addresses her topic. Due to my life circumstances, I expected to be strongly connected with the things she wrote. Chapter one grabbed my attention in a strong start, but I found chapter two confusing. I think this chapter would have benefited by clearly defining certain terms (shame, condemnation, conviction, etc). As it was, I restarted at the beginning of the book in case I had missed something, but didn’t find further clarification. For a few chapters, I felt disconnected from the book. Then, somewhere in the middle, things clicked and I began to absorb the powerful truths presented.

As I mentioned before, I benefitted from reading Shame Off You by Denise Pass. So much truth about human experience lies within the pages and I soaked it in. Denise Pass writes with honesty about many issues that are related to shame (rejection, comparison, sin, failure, etc).  I recommend Shame Off You to anyone dealing with shame and its far-reaching effects.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher. All opinions in this review are my own.

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BOOK TRAILER:

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: 

Denise Pass, author of Shame Off You, is an award-winning CCM recording artist and singer-songwriter, accomplished writer/blogger, speaker and worship leader at women’s conferences as well as a worship leader on staff at her home church. After a crushing discovery of her former husband’s hidden life as a repetitive sex offender, and surviving a painful divorce, she now shares an inspirational message through her ministry, Seeing Deep Ministries, about seeing the deeper truth in God’s word when life hurts. Denise also founded and directed a home educational co-op for 12 years and engaged in many educational pursuits, including forming and directing a classical children’s choir. A graduate from the University of Maryland, Denise now resides in Virginia, with her “Kinsman Redeemer” husband and five children.

CONNECT WITH DENISE: Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

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TOUR GIVEAWAY:

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Book Review: Play to Their Strengths by Analyn and Brandon Miller

About the Book:

How can a good parent like you become an even greater parent? By shifting the focus to what’s right with your kids instead of what is wrong with them. Discover how you can replace your frustration with joy by taking the pressure of performance and comparison off your children’s shoulders.

Based in the belief that every child has God-given greatness within them, Play to Their Strengths shows you how to move with the natural momentum of your kids’ talents and make the shift to a collaborative, strengths-based, and motivational approach to parenting. You’ll see the powerful results of this shift in your children’s shining eyes—and your own.
The unique Playbook in the back of the book equips you to put into practice the ideas in each chapter. Answer questions and engage in activities with your spouse and kids to uncover talent and discover greatness. The Playbook makes great advice personal as you apply it to the specific family dynamics in your home. Now is the perfect time to experience a fresh fascination with your children and uncover the hidden gem inside each of them.

My Thoughts:

In Play to Their Strengths, Analyn and Brandon Miller challenge and encourage parents to use a strengths-based parenting style. Core to this philosophy is the belief that God gives each child certain gifts (pg.19). It is an intentional strategy to focus on what's right rather than what's wrong with a child (pg.20), but is not intended to lead to overly permissive parenting (pg. 33).

Reading Play to Their Strengths was enjoyable. Unlike some non-fiction books, I didn't find myself bogged down or bored in the middle. The writing style was relatable with occasional humor. At times I did wish for more specifics from their process instead of a bland statement of going from one thing to another. Overall though, it was easy to read and I expect to pick it up annually.

Since reading Play to Their Strengths, I have found myself being more mindful to notice what my children are doing right and giving positive, verbal affirmations. I absolutely love the idea about staying fascinated with my kids as they grow. There were a few statements that really made me think – like how fear is often the source of our anger. The more I thought about the idea and examined subsequent moments of anger, I found it true for me that there is often (but not always) a certain fear lurking underneath. I liked the chapter about finding your own strengths and using them as you parent.

Each chapter of Play to Their Strengths offers discussion questions at the end and there is a “Playbook” with ideas for further consideration or activities to do with the children to help uncover their gifts. I recommend Play to Their Strengths by Analyn and Brandon Miller to any parent, but it is targeted toward Christian parents.

Visit the publisher's website to read an excerpt from Play to Their Strengths by Analyn and Brandon Miller.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I was provided a copy of the book by the publisher. All opinions in the review are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CF, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Book Review: Finding Beautiful by Rebecca Friedlander

About the Book:

What is beautiful? We spend our money on beauty products, weight-loss programs, and age-defying medical interventions to attain beauty. We set impossible standards and feel bad about ourselves when we don't reach them. Is beauty truly that elusive? Or could it be that our idea of what's beautiful is simply too narrow?

Through engaging personal stories and dramatic before-and-after photography, filmmaker Rebecca Friedlander uncovers the true beauty of twelve women from around the world, empowering us to shatter the lies of rejection, doubt, and low self-esteem. Utilizing compelling biblical truth and questions for personal reflection, Friedlander helps us identify our own personal battlegrounds, celebrate our uniqueness, and embrace God's definition of beautiful.


My Thoughts:

I thoroughly enjoyed Finding Beautiful by Rebecca Friedlander. Although I was not familiar with Radical Makeovers, the television show related to this book, I was intrigued and inspired by the stories of the women in this book. In the introduction it says that the book “shares far more details than included in the show.” So, for those who have seen the show, this book should still be interesting.

At times, the women's stories moved me to tears. I liked how the Rebecca Friedlander shared each woman's personal story, information about the photo shoot, her (Rebecca's) own story, a story/topic from the Bible, and questions for reflection. The narrative was creative and well-written. The full color photos complemented the featured stories and accented the theme of each chapter.

I recommend Finding Beautiful by Rebecca Friedlander to any woman. The diversity of topics, engaging narrative, and inspiring stories will appeal to many women. With it's hard cover, glossy pages, and full-color photos, it would also make a great gift.

Read an excerpt from Finding Beautiful by Rebecca Friedlander on the publisher's website.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I voluntarily reviewed a complimentary copy of this book which I received from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Book Review: What If It's True by Charles Martin

About the Book:

Years ago, novelist Charles Martin cracked open his Bible and began wrestling with a few fundamental questions. He asked, “What if every single word of Scripture is absolutely true and I can trust it? How do I respond? Something in me should change, but what? How?” This book is the result of that exploration.

With the depth, sensitivity, and emotion that has made his novels beloved to millions, Charles ignites our imaginations as to what the life, ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ mean to us today. Charles asks, “What if dead and crucified Jesus came back to life by the power of the Holy Spirit and is alive today? Right now. What if that same Jesus, the One who walked out of the tomb shining like the sun, holding the keys of death and hades, is alive in me? I write fiction for a living, and that’s either the craziest thing I’ve ever heard or it’s the most important word ever spoken. You and I have a King who did the unthinkable.”

The answers that his writer’s imagination illuminates for us will change the way we think about the gospel and the way we live because of it.

My Thoughts:

If I described What If It's True? by Charles Martin in one word, it would be... piercing. He doesn't sugar-coat things. He fully believes in the Bible as inerrant and divinely inspired. He calls out false prosperity gospel movements. He tackles heavy topics such as rejection, resignation, sexual sin, generational curses, and forgiveness. He also devotes time to the love of God as being the basis of everything Christians believe and extending to anyone, no matter how far gone that person may seem.

In What If It's True?, Charles Martin stirs interest with a well-written narrative and then starts probing deeply into his topic. He uses a lot of Scripture and draws Old Testament and New Testament connections that I never noticed even though I've been a Christian for many years. While the focus is on spiritual matters, he shares some of his own struggles and situations. He does use plenty of imagination in his retellings of Biblical events. Some parts seemed more realistic than others. This didn't bother me, but others may balk at it.

I felt that the chapter on forgiveness missed the mark. As someone who has had to forgive some hard things, I know the beauty and necessity of forgiveness. Unfortunately, forgiveness was presented with a “forgive others or else God won't forgive you and you'll be separated from Him” mentality. Yes, I know there are verses that support that view. But as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I can say that is not what I needed to hear years ago when I was dealing with the muck and mire. What I needed to hear was.... God will guide and help you every step of the way. No, you haven't forgiven yet. Yes, you need to forgive. But God is with you and for you, even when you just aren't there yet. The author did give a few statements about abusive situations, but given how many abused, deeply broken people there are, I think it merits more than a few paragraphs about how forgiveness and justice can co-exist.

What If It's True? wasn't easy to read. I cried... a lot. I could only handle a chapter a day, at most. Sometime in the future, I'd like to go back and read it even more slowly. I loved the prayers he put at the end of almost every chapter. I cried as I prayed them. They helped me to explore and pray more thoroughly than I would have been able to on my own.

I recommend What If It's True? by Charles Martin to Christians seeking to deepen their relationship with God and find greater spiritual freedom. If you've read his fiction novel, Long Way Gone, you may remember he ends with an essay about how no one is too far gone. That particular essay is included in What If It's True?, but is actually one of the shorter chapters. So, if you aren't sure if you want to try What If It's True?, go back and read that ending essay in Long Way Gone to get a taste.

What If It's True? earned a five star rating from me.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Author Interview: In Sickness and In Health by Dr. David Hawkins

Earlier this month, I reviewed In Sickness and In Health: The Physical Consequences of Emotional Stress in Marriage by David Hawkins, PhD, with Tyson Hawkins, MD, and Joshua Hawkins, MD.  In my review, I gave it five stars because of its honesty, information, and healthy perspective. Read my full review here.

Today, I'm returning to In Sickness and In Health with an author interview with Dr. David Hawkins, but first, a little about the book.

About In Sickness and In Health:

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? 

When you first met your spouse you probably had a physical response to the emotions you felt. You’d get butterflies in your stomach, your heart would race, and your palms would sweat. So why is it that after you’re married, it’s so hard to make the connection between your physical health and your emotional well-being when you’re facing relational stress?

If your emotional pain feels physical and your physical pain feels emotional, your marriage may be making you sick—literally. Join Dr. David Hawkins and his sons, an internist and a surgeon, as they explore the effects relational stress and trauma can have on our bodies. You will learn to . . .

• recognize the link between emotional and physical pain
• embrace the power of choice to become empowered by hope
• find a path forward to ultimate restoration and regain your life

No matter what kind of pain you’re experiencing, or how long your health has been in decline, you don’t have to stay stuck. Discover hope and healing when you take control of your life.


Interview with Dr. David Hawkins:

What defines a toxic marriage?

Five Signs: 1. A relationship where you can’t seem to do anything right. 2. Everything is about them, not you. Your mate’s needs always trump your own. 3. You find yourself unable to enjoy good moments with him. 4. You’re uncomfortable being yourself around your mate. 5. You feel no freedom to grow and change.  

What is C-PTSD? 

Complex PTSD is chronic relationship stress, marked by the following: emotional dysregulation, difficulty with self-perception, interruptions in consciousness, difficulty in relationships, inaccurate perception of one’s perpetrators and broken system of meanings (loss of faith and meaning in life.)

Do you think that the C-PTSD that results from a toxic marriage has a disproportionate effect on women?

Absolutely.

Often, women experiencing the kind of physical maladies you describe are also experience autoimmune disorders. Is there any correlation between these types of disorders and emotional stress?

There is no doubt a positive relationship between PTSD, CPTSD and autoimmune disorders, not to mention other psychosomatic illnesses.

What are the calling cards of the type of marriage that produces symptoms of physical stress?

A toxic marriage, or marriage of high-conflict and never-ending stress, is likely to lead to physical symptomatology. The body definitely keeps score when it comes to chronic relationship unhappiness.

How does your faith inform your views on psychology and medicine? How does it inform your views on marriage?

My faith is my foundation for everything I believe about my practice of psychology and marriage counseling. I believe in the sanctity of the individual and the marriage. All decisions I make as a clinician and solutions recommended need to align with Scripture.  

What are the steps towards healing that individuals can take to recover from an emotionally damaging marriage?

First and foremost is the importance of naming the truth of what is happening. You can’t change what you won’t own, you won’t own what you can’t see and you can’t see unless you are open to feedback from others. So, after naming the problems, seek steps to change and grow. Victims of emotional abuse need specialized help to heal and perpetrators of abuse need special help as well. Getting the right help can make all the difference, especially if they stick with the healing process.

Are there preventative measures individuals can take to stop their marriage from becoming toxic?

Yes. Couples can name the toxicity at the beginning of the destructive process rather than live in denial and waiting until things are very bad. Early detection and treatment are critical.

What do you hope that readers take away from your book?  

That they are responsible for their healing, for finding the best emotional, physical and spiritual help available, and that healing is available to all.

Book Review: In Sickness and In Health

About the Book:

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? 

When you first met your spouse you probably had a physical response to the emotions you felt. You’d get butterflies in your stomach, your heart would race, and your palms would sweat. So why is it that after you’re married, it’s so hard to make the connection between your physical health and your emotional well-being when you’re facing relational stress?

If your emotional pain feels physical and your physical pain feels emotional, your marriage may be making you sick—literally. Join Dr. David Hawkins and his sons, an internist and a surgeon, as they explore the effects relational stress and trauma can have on our bodies. You will learn to . . .

• recognize the link between emotional and physical pain
• embrace the power of choice to become empowered by hope
• find a path forward to ultimate restoration and regain your life

No matter what kind of pain you’re experiencing, or how long your health has been in decline, you don’t have to stay stuck. Discover hope and healing when you take control of your life.

My Thoughts:

When I was a young wife, I eagerly read Christian marriage books. Now, fifteen years into marriage I'm highly selective about what marriage books I read, having recognized that some of them perpetuate lies, unhealthy thinking patterns, and even abuse. Therefore, when I chose to read In Sickness and In Health by David Hawkins, Ph.D.,with Tyson Hawkins, M.D., and Joshua Hawkins, M.D., I went in a bit skeptical, questioning if the authors could marry Christian beliefs with a healthy perspective on struggling marriages.

I'm glad I took the time to read In Sickness and In Health as it fascinated me from the beginning. I knew little to nothing of psychosomatic medicine before reading the book. Much of the information about how mental and emotional stress can impact one's body was totally new to me. I would say at least half the book addresses physical symptoms of stress in marriage before moving on to encouragement for wives in difficult marital situations.

In terms of bias for or against divorce, I'd say In Sickness and In Health stayed pretty neutral. It didn't lean heavily to either side though it did acknowledge that divorce is sometimes necessary. The book doesn't attempt to delve into theological issues regarding divorce. Rather, it focuses on getting the woman to notice her symptoms, acknowledge that a difficult marriage may likely be the source of her physical ailments, and empower women to pursue healing – emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically, and relationally.

The premise is that when a woman prioritizes and pursues health, she will start the process of making healthy decisions that will likely beget more healthy decisions, healthy patterns, and healthy relationships. Dr. David Hawkins (who is the main author) doesn't attempt to address every issue that a woman may face in a struggling marriage, though plenty of examples are given. He's honest that becoming healthy requires effort and there will be both difficult times and hard decisions.

Hands down, Chapter 10 (Disappointment with God) was my personal favorite as it deals with personal faith as it relates to marriage. He's honest that faith can be a source of confusion for wives when theology is mixed with partial truths and personal thoughts. I liked that Dr. Hawkins affirms that wives are allowed to have healthy boundaries, stand up to abuse, and that God is with the person who puts his or her trust in God. I loved the end of the chapter where he states: “From a crisis, however, we can expect a new life to emerge, a new faith to be reborn.” I have found this true in my own life and marriage.

In Sickness and In Health: The Physical Consequences of Emotional Stress in Marriage by David Hawkins, Ph.D., with Tyson Hawkins, M.D., and Joshua Hawkins, M.D. was highly interesting to me. Because of its honesty, information, and healthy perspective, I can recommend it to wives in difficult situations. Also, women can find a great deal of helpful information in the book in regards to being mentally and emotionally healthy, not just in marriage, but in all of life.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a complimentary copy from the publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."